It’s time for Cover Snark, where we take a look at some unsettling covers in an effort to make your Mondays a little better!
From Delight: I don’t know if this particular…oddity, has been featured before but I received it in a newsletter and I just couldn’t deal. I couldn’t. His face is green. He looks like he tried a weird shade of foundation that he failed to blend. And why is he looking at her with that expression? It is not at all sexy. Or maybe that’s just him trying to keep whatever is threatening to hurl out, in.
Amanda: She’s clearly guarding her boobs.
The dude also looks suspiciously like Brandon Lee from The Crow.
Sarah: It’s also from the “If we don’t use Scriptina, how will they know it’s a romance?” school of font selection.
Elyse: His foundation is not the right color at all.
Elyse: Does he have a rash?
Redheadedgirl: Did he get bit by one of those fluke thingies for that one episode of The X-Files?
Elyse: Also dude really needs a belt.
CarrieS: And a bra.
Redheadedgirl: He has one, it’s named Adonis.
Elyse: And some hydrocortisone ointment. He really just needs to go to Target.
Sarah: His pants are what’s tempting fate here. What’s holding them up? Wardrobe tape?
Amanda: I don’t like this extreme close up.
Sarah: I am very not ok with models looking at me from covers. Disliked trend is disliked.
Elyse: Do. Not. Want.
Amanda: I wonder if this is the industry’s counter to man-titty. “Fine! You don’t want some aggressive nipples? Then this is what you get!”
Sarah: “Aggressive staring!” Nope. Do not want.
Amanda: Is this a new Marvel superhero? “The Neon Lawyer.”
Elyse: There’s no neon in that cover.
Sarah: If you turn off the lights, does he glow? Is that what he’s looking at? His personal glowstick?
CarrieS: Is this a noir mystery? If so, I kinda like it. If it’s a romance, all I can say is I don’t have the energy to cheer that dude up and nothing will convince me to enter that motel. The only things getting lucky in there are bedbugs.
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